Overcoming Conflict in Marriage

What leads to strife and how do conflicts, quarrels, and fighting originate among you? – James 4:1a

Conflict means; in opposition, clash, disagree, strife, controversy, quarrel, collision.

The opposite of conflict is; reconcile, peace, truce

Conflicts almost always begin because someone either does not get their way, someone gets offended, or people do not agree about something. Many times we just don’t want to let things go, we don’t want to give something up, or we are just plain stubborn.

In marriage, conflict is almost inevitable. I mean living with the same human being for life can have challenges. They can annoy you to no end. However, we need to realize that conflict does not need to be a bad thing. HOW WE HANDLE IT is when problems can arise.

The enemy hates marriage. He hates it because God created it and because it unifies us. Unity is powerful. He wants to split us up, cause us to magnify the faults in our spouse, place unrealistic expectations on them, destroy us with pride and try to make us act out on it in a sinful way.

James goes so far as to say that when we hate it is like we are committing murder in our hearts. That statement sounds a lot like when Jesus said simply looking at another with lust we have already committed adultery. These are HUGE statements.

It is an issue that begins on the inside. It is a heart matter. And where does it all begin? Our thought life. Our minds are the first line of attack. The enemy sends all his forces to our minds, because he knows that if he can get into our thoughts, he will get our hearts.

The only way to protect our minds from becoming the devils playground is to consistently study…not just read…God’s Word. Most Christians go to church, but few of us have an active and consistent life in the Word. Most of us are too busy making sure we don’t miss the next Survivor episode. Most of us hardly ever feed our spirits outside of our church visits. The Church is overcome with the mind of the world instead of the Mind of Christ.

Think on good things about our mates…

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. – Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

OK, so the keys to overcoming conflict is to think on good things. Focus on what is good and WORTHY of praise. Keep our thoughts on the positive. Forgiving and showing mercy as often as needed!

Application: If we would just set our hearts and minds on our Father in Heaven, we would have less discord and more joy and productivity in our marriages.

The Proverbs 31 Wife Handbook is now available in PRINT, Kindle, nook and PDF versions! Grab your copy today and begin building a better marriage by working on the only one you will stand accountable to–YOU!

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