{continued from “Mommy Syndrome”}

Let me point something out that you may not have realized before…

Do you remember what Jesus called the Holy Spirit?

A Helper.

A helper is a very significant role. Without a wise helper, our husbands are unable to lead properly. They need us. We need them. The problem is no one wants to submit to his or her role.

There are many husbands who quietly allow their wives to lead them around like little puppy dogs. They do whatever their wives tell them to do because they do not want to put up with the nagging. They have given up their God given role as leader. It is a terrible thing when a man is not a man.

For those of us who have taken on the role of leader, we must demote ourselves. It does not matter if our husbands let us or fight us. We must let go of the role of leader. We must allow them to lead. Encourage them to lead. Help them become men again. If we do not, then we are setting our society, marriage and children up for failure.

A marriage without the man as leader is not a happy marriage. I do not believe that there is a man on the planet that deep down wants his wife to be the leader of his home. Men want to be men. Men should be men. God created them to be men–not our little boys.

Children who grow up in a home without the man as leader will never really understand their roles. Girls will grow up unable to submit and become bossy, dominating shrews. Boys will grow up wimps and never become the men they were designed by the Creator to be.

Unfortunately, the modern Christian woman has redefined her role to fit with her desires, her feelings, and what society says/thinks/does. God’s Word is the final Authority for everything. We are to change our ways to fit His will, not ours. Many Christian women forget the help meet part of their role. Our jobs do not end with being a Mother to our children and taking care of our homes. Our children are second. Many women put the children first (we will talk more about this in a future week). It is wrong. God is first. Your husband is second ONLY to God. The children come after your husband.

I have been laughed at by other wives for packing my husband a bag with all of the things he would need for a trip. I pack his clothing, Tylenol, stain stick (mainly for me), toiletries, etc. He really appreciates this and I am fulfilling my role as “helper.” Now, many of my girlfriends are too busy to do these extra little things for their husbands. Don’t get me wrong they love their husbands and may be good wives on many levels. However, if your children are such a priority that you are too busy to do extra little things for your husband–you need to cut back. You need to make the time to be his helper, not just the Mother of his children.

I do not think that I am better than these women. I have just learned to submit in this area. I fail in many others. For instance, I have several friends that are excellent at keeping their homes clean and orderly. I fail miserably in this area. I have struggled in this area for years. I am better than I used to be. I am not as orderly as my husband would like though. He is very neat.

I’m telling you this so that you know I don’t think I have arrived anywhere. I am not perfect. But–I am striving to be all that God has called me to be. I recognize my faults and work to change them. I may never be the neatest or best wife. I can work hard to head in that direction though. We all can.

This goes against EVERYTHING this society teaches. Television shows make men out to be stupid and the women are smart. This culture says, “Hit the road, Jack!” It is a HIGH calling and HUGE challenge to go against the current.

However, I strongly URGE you to press through. Press past what society says. Press past the lies of the enemy who is the father of lies and the ruler of this present darkness. I urge you to press IN with the Lord and TRUST Him. His purpose is NOT to harm, hurt, or take away your happiness.

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. – Jeremiah 29:11


  1. Oh thank you, what a wonderful blog! I am always looking for practical ways to fulfill my role better :)

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